After a long time of riding his horse towards the East, Jacob reached a well. There was a huge stone sitting on top of it, probably to prevent idiots from falling in. The well was surrounded by three flocks of sheep, laying on the ground and lazily wagging their little tails. They would make an excellent stew, Jacob thought. He pushed the thought out of his mind when he noticed a few shepherds hanging around, too. Jacob approached the shepherds and said, “Hey, bros. Where are you from?”
The shepherds looked him up and down and cracked their knuckles. “Haram,” they said.
“Hey! That’s where I’m going! Do you guys know Laban?” One of the guys in the middle of the group rolled his eyes. He wore the equivalent of a leather jacket, which was basically just a sheepskin draped over his shoulders. “Well, duh, everybody knows Laban. And of course those hot daughters of his. Lord, every guy with common sense and without, wants a piece of that action.”
“Uh… and how is Laban?”
“He’s fine,” The shepherd said, “Look, here comes his sweet daughter with Laban’s sheep.” By sweet, he didn’t mean kind. Rachel was stunning, her hair drifting across her shoulders, her eyes sparkling like pale sapphires. Her lips were pink (as were everybody’s) but Jacob noticed that her’s were particularly rose. Jacob was captivated by her as she sauntered across the field (as much as one could saunter when tugging a bunch of sheep), her white dress flowing behind her. She was incredible, she was a goddess, she was everything Jacob desired. Record scratch. She was his cousin.
Oh, well, that didn’t really matter. A spurt of energy rose in him and he ran in front of Rachel, tossing aside the boulder from the well and watering Laban’s sheep. He pumped his barely existent muscles at her. “Now, you don’t have to worry about keeping those sheep hydrated, beautiful,” he said.
Then, he grabbed Rachel’s waist and kissed her. Rachel probably would have pushed him away, but she was enjoying herself. The kiss was so passionate, both of them felt like their surroundings were blocked out. They didn’t even notice the sheep pooping in the well. When he pulled away from her, he began to cry. Rachel hoped they were tears of joy.
Through his sobbing, Jacob said, “Did it hurt when y-you fell from heaven?”
Rachel shook her head in disappointment. “Please don’t. Who are you, anyway?”
“I’m your father’s nephew, Rebekah’s son.” Jacob stuttered.
“You’re… my cousin? What? I mean, it’s fine that we kissed, but how did I not know that you were coming?”
He shrugged. “I would have sent a letter but over-month pigeon shipping costs extra.”
Rachel eyed Jacob. Was this guy really who he said he was? They did have similar noses. She decided he was telling the truth. And she liked him. “Alright, welcome. I’ll go tell Laban.” Rachel grabbed her bag and beckoned the sheep, but before she walked away, she kissed Jacob’s forehead. He swooned.
Soon, Jacob saw Laban coming on his horse in the distance. The man was tall, with a thin, graying black beard. He seemed to radiate something—not power, but dominance. When Laban got to Jacob, he hugged him and kissed him (this family enjoys kissing Jacob). Laban said, “You are my flesh and blood. Come on, let’s go home.”
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