Jacob had stayed with the family for a whole month. He snuck little kisses with Rachel and Laban enjoyed talking to him. Jacob had gotten to know both of Laban’s daughters well. Leah, Laban’s eldest, was thin and pale. He often helped her make stew for the family. Sure, she flirted with him and her eyes were quite nice, but Jacob was taken with the lovely Rachel. There was not a moment when Jacob didn’t think about her soft skin and curves. One day, Laban said, “Nephew, you have been working so hard, and I have paid you nothing. You are not an intern— you are family. How much do you want to be paid?”
Jacob said, “I’m in love with Rachel. She’s so pretty and smart. Can I marry her as my payment?”
Laban thought for a moment. “Alright. You’ll be a better husband than any other man and gods, I know how hot she is. Hotter than her mom, for sure. Work seven years and she’ll be yours.”
Jacob labored for the next seven years. The thought of being with Rachel when he was done kept him going. At dinner parties, he would say, “Yeah, I love her so much. Waiting for her only feels like a few days. Underwater.”
Finally, seven years had passed. Jacob said to Laban, “Time’s up. Give me my wife. I wanna have sex—I mean have intelligent conversations with her.”
“It’s fine, Jacob, I know she’s sexy. She gets it from me. I’ll throw you a big party for you to get married.”
So, Laban brought people from all over Paddam Aram and filled the table with food and alcohol. Lots of alcohol.
As a wedding gift, Laban gave his daughter a servant, Zilpah. Then, Laban gave Jacob his daughter, and the marriage was official. That night, drunk Jacob and his new wife slept together.
When morning light hit Jacob’s eyes, he squinted. He put his arm around his new wife. “Oh, man, honey. I’m so hungover. Please don’t talk loud.”
He turned his head to look at her and screamed like a little girl. “LEAH? WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?” He groaned and covered his ears.
Leah gave him an apologetic smile. “I’m your new wife.”
Jacob threw off their blankets and stormed into Laban’s room. Laban was hungover too, so Jacob decided it was worth shouting as loud as he could. “YOU TRICKED ME! HOW DARE YOU? YOU BROKE OUR DEAL!”
Laban rubbed his forehead. “Nothing against you, boy. We just don’t give the youngest daughter for marriage before the oldest. Otherwise, Leah was gonna be an old, useless spinster.” Leah trailed in behind Jacob, attempting to have his back. She didn’t protest to Laban’s comment.
“But I want Rachel! Not Leah. I love Rachel!”
“Fine, fine. You can marry Rachel after this week. If you work another seven years for me as payment for her.”
As angry as Jacob was with Laban, he loved Rachel more. He married Rachel after a week with Leah. Laban also gave Rachel a servant, Bilah. This was probably his way of saying, “Here’s an enslaved human being to remember me by! XOXO.”
Jacob made sure not to get drunk on their wedding night, but he did make sure to have sex with her. Finally, he thought as they got in bed together. Then, he worked for another seven years.
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